They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize