Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
