me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
