It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
