My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
