I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
