I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
