): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize