i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize