i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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