I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
