Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
