Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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