my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
