She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
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I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
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I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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