i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
