bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
