don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Shame - the story of my life.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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