You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
