is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
