shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
