oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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