I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize