Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
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dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
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This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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