And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
