U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
