I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Boobs are out for the taking
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
