Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
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i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you had me at cake vodka
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
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Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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