my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize