I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
