When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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