so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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