I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
