after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
being pregnant is like rehab
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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