We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
