tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
