She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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