I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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