Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
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You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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