I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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