I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
