I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
