In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
