I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
