Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize