Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
