I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'd cum for enchiladas.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
