one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize