I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize