am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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