A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
