it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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