My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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