I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
