This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
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That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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