He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
