i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
