Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize