dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
