she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
